Life problem is done. And what about best friend problem?

I don't know why. But i really miss you. Miss talking with you everyday at school. And shares secret with you. From the first of this year, you rare talking to me like seriously. Is that what you mean by best friend forever? You said, you promise I am your best friend. But you see.. You lied and it kills me. I'm envy when i see you with her.. talking happily, walk together. and like never ever split up. Apa guna kau cakap saya ni jugalah harapan kau? Apa guna janji kau? Apa guna saya nangis untuk kau dulu? Dan.. Kenapa saya maafkan kau ah? Kenapa saya ceria macam budak yg dapat ice-cream time saya okay suda sama kau ah? Dan sekarang, apa bah balasan kau ni? Best friend forever ka macam ni? No way la saya rasa. Kau anggap sya mcm tunggul kayu saja oh skrng! Takkan sya yg duluan mesti mau layan kau? Punyalah hebat gaya kau sekarang. Tidak pandai faham. Kau cuma poke dia sebab mau minta kawan makan time rehat awal? Alasan lah kau. Jan kau kasih budu sya lagi bah. Apa bah perfect sangat BEST FRIEND kau skrng tu? Bagus lah tu. Harap kamu kawan selamanya la kan. Kenapa ah sungguh banyak cabaran dalam hidup sya. biarlah, hanya Tuhan saja bahh tahuu ;) And sya mau kau tau, sy betul betul anggap kau adik bradik dulu. kau pun tau. kita masih kawan tapi kita bukan kawan rapat lagi. tapi kau masih ingat ka time kita jalan sma dorang R&M p pantai. lepas tu, kita men tulis tulis d pasir. apa kau bilang? best friend forever? tolonglah. cukuplaa sya kecewa sma kau. sma janji kau. tidak paa laa. tu ja sya maw post. baaa. hahaha! xD

GONNA RUUUUUNNN, RUNNN FAARR AWAYYY XD

day by day, my day is getting worst. come on, if this was the prove that this is the end of the world.. just let me die first. i'm tired to tried everything!!!! i mean, why cant i really make my brothers and teachers proud?  WHY ? I DID TRY ! who says i'm not ? i do tell myself everyday 'why am i stupid enough?' its okay, its alright :) want me to learn the HARD LIFE, huh? want me to be so INDEPENDENT? am i dog? bro, are you treating me like a dog? its okay, since you throw the glass to me, i didn't even even even more even saw you as my bro again but still, i will love you all forever. if i die and you guys don't know that ;') just don't forget to pray always, i'm sorry if i put you guys in the hard life :') good night and sweet dream <3

9 April. i keep loving you more! ;)

So here it goes. I wake up early morning and prepare to go school. by myself using bus. but.. suddenly i changed my mind, i don't wanna go. i wanna see him so badly, and i take extra clothes and put inside my bag and i just bring one text book and holding it. when i go out the house, i call him many times until he pick up and i said , we cant meet near my house cos there's my bro and yet,  i said , I can go to Papar just to see him. when i reached at terminal. i take the bus but its still not fulled with persons and i go changed my clothes at toilet. and when i go back into the bus, i sit on my place back and got this one boy, wow. he looks kinda cute but i just ignore. and when the bus started to go, i just sit and trying to sleep but i cant.. and then wanna pay for the bus already. i ask the person beside me, that i said that he was cute. he said it cost rm5. wow-..- expensive. and after 1 one minute, he ask me and we started to talk and talk , we laugh. haha wow. cool. and at last, reached papar terminal. go down and saw my boyfriend! i miss him, sit beside him and talk to him. and then blah blah blah blah blah blah blah sweet moment <3 secret. HAHA. i love him so much. and then after that, we go walking around Papar, take some picture for our memories, sit on the bench and talking.. holding hands on the street..i even trying to stole kissing him in the bus today :p haha he's cute. i keep loving him more :) and when its 1pm we sit at terminal waiting for the bus.. and i put my head on his shoulder trying to sleep but i cant cos he keep wake me up -..- cruel, isn't it? haha then he check my bag and i keep asking why are he checking and he wanna make sure if there's a cond*** inside it. and i was like. what!? haha and then he take out a piece paper from my bag that got his name on it.. and we use that paper wrote our chinese name, i love you, signature, full name. and he ask me to keep it as our memories :) i love you :) 

makin sweet eh kau? waaa haha. - 16 March

my kiro? :) hey there, my kiro. my fan <3 HAHA. i love you. waaa texting with you tonight was so sweet , great, and fun:) cant believe we're talking about something special, its like magic D: and watching ghost movie with my bro. while texting and chatting with Daeran using phone. Daeran was a sweet and cool guy. and ok back to my kiro. i miss him so much. gilaaa eh, saya lambat reply text dia 4 or 5 minute gitu ka. then dia tertidur sudaa. alaaa, gara gara fikir brabis pa mau reply chat c Daeran ni bahhh:3 haha biarlahhh. happy go lucky ja. and and, time sya tingu hantu hantu ma bro sya, punya syok. da juga sya tariak tariak oh. bro sya pun takajut :) hahaha k sampai sini jaaa xD 

YOU :(

so, I guess i should really stop talking about you even yesterday at school what you did makes me keep falling for you more. Its for my own good either. And may God bless your relationship with her. I hope you guys would last long. Even this would make me take more times to forgetting our past , i would try my best because I promise to my best friend that I'll stop loving you. Well, its not easy to find someone like you and, so there's no one like you out there. And I just love your smile. 

Like its his birthday.

Got adventure today at Wetland again. At school, Deidre said that its his birthday and i was like. OMG. wasn't it on March? and what ever he'll get something like its gonna be his first. Why cant i over him? I said to deidre that i wanted to give up and she says NO. Why? Tell me why? And guess what? She says , one day you'll like him again and you wont give up. Yeah, the more i wanted to stop liking him , the more i fall for him. PLEASE BRO. I wanna change school and this is not the only reason why i want to change. You ask me to cos the school is far away from home. Anyway, today at Wetland its cool. Saya balik balik kasih kena c Kevin ;) sitting with Claireen and Windy. yeah they were there too , their driver was Winston ;) today the bad life totally begins. How can i stop? how can i move on? how can i stop acting like i care when i saw you with her? its hurt, totally. but never mind its not like i'm going to break with my boyfriend just because wanted to be loyal waiting for you. No. You could have been, you should have been, you're not and you will never be. I miss you, i mean i miss when we're playing in primary school, talking in primary school. Please heart, please i wanted to stop. Please don't wasting your time. Oh Lord, i beg you. 

i shouldn't fall for you. 

19 February 2012

the best adventure of my life at Wetland Forest ;) 

Today morning i was on rushing for adventure at Wetland. I tried my best to wake my brother to send me up to school. In the car my brother accidentally make me mad and didn't started to drive. I was in panic and thinking that when i reach there, others are already went to the Wetland for adventure but thank god , when i reach to the school I saw sharrona, ivy , quik , deidre, kevin:) , and others. HAHA! Even teacher Yazid. I saw him standing there holding his umbrella. Wow. Its cute :P And at last, the bus came and we go inside. The bus was so ugly and i said that to my friend. HAHA its funny anyway but its cool it got radio ;) and then when we reach at Wetland. Before we go in, I saw the cats inside there and i was like wtf and feels like wanna screaming , well i trauma on cats and Sharrona was like calling the cat to make me afraid-..- and then the announcement started. I was just laughing around, talking around and others are listening. Oh yeah, some of them are from other schools ;) Its gonna be a competition finding a bird and describe it :D Anyway, I keep saying i'm hungry. and ohhh breakfast! Nasi Lemak. oh great. sikit saja saya makan bukan habis-..- HAHA. at last the adventure begins ;)
Teacher Yazid was freedom and when we was on our way to start the adventure, teacher Yazid take care of us and leave the others group-..- well, i'm on the group 4 with Ivy,Sharrona,Quik and me ;) hahaha. its great. Taking picture with the greatest adventure people and i guess many more. And wow, when i was Teacher Yazid walking and my friends, we were about to across the dirty mud. and i said ' Eee, sya takut kasut sya kotorrr owww! ' with a cute voice. hahaha how dumb and then teacher Yazid ask me to hold his umbrella and start walking? I 'm not sure what he's talking about. He's nice. When i was hot, we share umbrella. Wow, i am so gonna respect this teacher but why am i saw him just as friends? This is soooooo the best adventure and this is what it feels like. Teacher Yazid and I almost lost when we walk slowly on the dirty mud and my friends just walking like really faster. At least, we all get fun and when ah ha ! we reached at observation tower. HAHA. c Ivy mati mati mau bawa kami p sana. last last, baru ja dia naik satu tingkat and then kami sudah d paling atas but before that Teacher Yazid and I again d tingkat dua terus saya minta ambil gambar. apa, malu? tidakk laaa. HAHA. And then i look down 'Ivy ! naik la baaa ! penakuutt ! ' then ivy said ' tidak mau baaa. kau ka? sya bulih mati oh ! ' what a fool. hahaha. and then, we returned from the forest. I go to the office because tapak tangan sya tercucuk kayu. hahaha kilii. syok juga d office sya dapat duduk , kuat gila aircon diaaa ;) anyway, blahh. next saturday got adventure again but its only ceramahh laa. haih. and here's the picture taken by my friends and teacher. YA. muka sayaa saja yang ada. HAHA.

after done with breakfast! hahaha. drink tea <3 taken by Grace;) 

with the greatest adventure? hahaha taken by Quik ;) 

cari burung ! HAHAHAHA taken by Ivy ;) 

at observation tower. taken by cikgu Yazid. hahahaha 

dakat air? hahaha taken by quik again ;)

returned to school ! penaaaat gila ! HAHAHA sendiri capture :p

Real friends? I don't know what that means anymore..

So real friends? why didn't you tell me? I'm regret to trust you so much and broke my heart just like the window been throw by a chair and broken. Fuck you. I shouldn't say you like that but you make me like this... So that is why you.. Oh, its okay. I just need help to carry on but not from you,bitch. yeah,bitch. Wasting my time waiting for that miracle come and end up with a shit feeling and you get the miracle. I mean whats so special about you? Yes,you pretty but i think you're just a bitch that wants all of the cute boys. nahh, i'm not jealous. well, this is my blog. so what? I'm regret knowing you. You just making up all those story.. i hate you. you better change your shit attitude.

kawan? tambirang la.

Once they get wrong and they'll think they're right. I told you i'm not talking about her and i was talking about other girl. And bukan saya tidak puas hati sama dia pun. Salah faham bah kau ni. Adakah saya mahu tidak puas hati sama dia cause dia poke c B kunun? Bukan pasal dia bah saya cakap. Haih shit laaaa. enough is enough la. kalau kau mau tahu la kan, KAU BAAAAA. Naaa, KAUUUU. Memang bagus la kalau kau terbaca ni blog. memang praise the lord. A thousand years saya suka dia, oh WAIT WAIT. kau sama dia suruh saya stop suka dia. BAH, I WILL TRY AND TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY TRY sampailahh saya TRYYY LAGI OVER AND OVER AGAAAAIN. macam senang mahu kasih lupa dia. bagus saya pindah la dari sekolah tu. memang sial la begini. fed up sudah saya. layan pun macam angin oh. bagus lagi kawan kau satu tu. PANDAI MELAYAN MA daripada kau. kenapa? just because i got boyfriend terus saya mati mati happy inside laaa? begitu ka kau fikir? apa punya otak oh. k la. suda la saya cakap pasal kau dan dia. actually bukan pasal claireen la.


anywayy, awww ! so great sit with Tan Vui Seng. hahaha dating kunun kami :p paaluuuui. ketawa berabis, ajar dia kunun buat correction. blahhh blahh tulis tulis meja dia, drawer diaa. terus after school stay with Claireen,May and Jenn. syok gila stayyy ;) haha. 

A thousand years.

Awesome sharing topic with Marjorie, Roseanne and teacher at counseling. Its totally great. Jor and Rose even help me to tell the teacher about my love life. Well.. about the person that i've been like for 8 years half? Teacher says that, i shouldn't force him to love me and ask me to find other. Haha and i was like, its okay teacher, i already got a boyfriend. and he's like what? and you still want him? and so yeah, i said. even i tell him, even if i got one, sometimes i like him. i thought i stopped already. And Jor and Rose ask me to stopped loving him. Well, they ever ask him either why he doesn't like me and he said i'm taller than him and my attitude :( he said that i'm strict. and i was like, wow? Really? i thought i was kind. Joke. Hmm, its alright. Well tomorrow is Valentines Day. I guess nothing special. Not gonna have the chance to meet my boyfriend either. No money, No out,bebeh. Chaw <3 

How long can i wait for you?

She doesn't suit you. And you doesn't suit her. Come on, i have been liking you for almost like 8 years? That girl sitting beside you must be a bitch. Well, the way she's acting SHE WANTS YOU. Oh, i see you like her? Congratulations. Well, you know what? After my friends tell me that when Marjorie is trying to talking to you and the bitch beside you is trying to disturbing you like calling your name and you look at her. Cant you give me a chance? I like you. I want you since primary school. Please tell me what you want me to be or I'm too ugly for you or fat. The way to stop liking you.. for me is only one way. It is to change school. I never thought that i keep loving you this fucking more. It hurt me so bad. We same class but we're like strangers! Well its okay, after school. Its a little perfect imperfect. I saw you run, i saw you laughing, i even saw you catching me looking at you. Oh damn. And saw Trevor today after school, it makes my day. It gives me energy to run. Joke. Its just me. Myself. I got energy by myself. A great conservation too with Jennifer and Windy ;) talking about friends and teacher. And lastly, a great conservation with Berwyn too! ;) well, i'm gonna take a bath then take dinner early, then crying with a thousand years music on. 

Chinese new year is fuuunnnn!

It was fun :p waking up soooooooooooo early. And at last, going to membakut celebrating Chinese New Year!! Met my niece and nephew, Andy and Anna <3 i love them. HAHA! At membakut after eating, Anna and I go to neighbour house, well well, met his uncle Calvin. HAHA! Just watching him playing computer. Lol. he chat with me yesterday to come over today and i did but he didn't talk to me. What a shy -..- heh. and then, aunty give me a beer. and i like what? i'm full here. and she just said , just drink. hahahaha xD it was cool. at last, habis sudah beer saya then kana kasih lagi satu oleh kawan c Calvin. sayaaa tahuuu tu ! c Calvin yang suruh dia bagi -..- HAHA. and yet, berkaroeke lagii :p punya syokkk gilaaa. But c Calvin duluan nyanyi. Uiseh men, terpikat sayaaa ohh. Macam dia nyanyi untuk saya cos feel berabis. uisehh tembirang nii kunun. HAHA. cos dia nyanyi penuh dengan perasaan bah. punya main saya terpikat. lepas tu saya lagi. uisehhh men! saya nyanyi lagi My Heart Will Go On. penuh dengan feeling. eee malu lahh, HAHA. last last suara sumbang cos ada budak p kacau kacau saya. haha minta puji ni. mahu juga duduk d kaki saya ahh-..- sooo cute la tu budak. haha! Last last habis nyanyi sudah then tu uncle d luar sana yang tengah monginum monginum suruh saya nyanyi lagi. haha bilang syok kunun dia dengar ah. HAHA! paling syok lahhh, time tu. then saya kena kasih beer lagi. stagaa. saya minum lahh, tinggal sikit lagi , terus saya simpan d meja then saya p tandas trus saya balik , saya pegang tu beer. berat. c Calvin sama kawan dia ketawa. dorang p tukar! terus saya p luar tukar sama abang Derek tu beer ;) HAHA! then baru lahh saya minum :D last last, c Calvin kasih saya beer lagi ahhh then ada saya tukar beer sama c Calvin kaa tu. awwwwwwwwwwwww, HAHA! saya kasih habis terus tu beer :p then time abang derek mau p balik sana sebelah jiran tu then saya ikut lah terus saya join dorang abang darel. saya jadi apaaa ni. um tukang kasih minum orang beer dester campur chivas d dlm gelas kecil. HAHA. gelas besar beer, trus gelas kecil chivas. terus kasih dulu tu orang beer then kasih masuk tu gelas kecil p dlm gelas besar then suruh dorang cepat cepat minum. haha! terus uncle suruh saya p kasih minum tu cina cina sana, suruh saya cakap cina lagi then baru dorang pandai minum kunun. haha terus saya p la. then dorang minum xD ada yg tidak mau minum cos satu kenyang and satu mau driving. hahaha! punyaalaaa. last last saya masuk dalam. sya npk kawan calvin. sya tanya mana calvin dia bilang nda tau terus sya npk pula c calvin d sofa baring baring. terus saya duduk d sebelah dia lahhh. last last time saya berdiri mau jalan p tandas. saya poke muka diaaa. HAHA! cute cute oh diaaaa :D then kami bercerita cerita d dapur. staga dia p lari p luar blakang dia muntah. kecian ni :( tu laaa, siapa suruh HAHAHA. kawan dia ma saya macam brabis ketawa ni bah xD last last balikk xD hahaha on the way p menggatal lagi celebrate tempat c anggell. theeeeen pulang, balik rumah mandi masuk bilik calling ma c meow. haha ;) Good Night yaaaaaw :D 

booyaahhhh, 20 Jan 2012 ;)

Today was okay. I miss him. Well then, at school i go down. Benny's little brother didn't smile to me when i tried to smile to him. Omg, did i did something wrong? :'( He even cover his face when he saw me when recess time at canteen :( Its okay... :) I know. The most fun at all, was after recess there's a lion dance! HAHA! It was soooo cute. And yet, Priscella Lo and I are at up stair to watch the lion dance. Omg, the green plus white one was totally cuteee. And Ivy said it was smart -..- okayyy. And yet, when Priscella said that she gets boring, i go to my class and join Marjorie them. Well, they're taking picture i mean, Smith was kind of like our photographer! HAHAHA! We do style , candid and everything what so ever i guess. And umm, the lion dance wasn't over and we sing xD Kenneth play the song using Ronald's guitar. HAHA! Cinta Muka Buku :) it makes me missing him a lot. Awlolo. What a damn oh right? HAHA! And yet, lastly Smith take a video of us. And Bradley even join us, well he's just watching. Omg, he's freakin cute okayyy! ;) HAHAHA! It was greaaaaat. And then , that time was over and Madam Tan enter the class to teach us English its kinda boring but at least, she's nice today. She said , who knows the meaning of the passage will get one ringgit. ;) And at last, i get it too, thanks to Roseanne for helping me :p and after school. Rose,Jor and I are going to Inanam to have fun. HAHA. When we reach there, we go to the market and look around and go upstairs and blah when we go down, i sit on the stair and go down.  hahaha it was damnnn fun. this would be a memory. At last last, Jor accompany me to take a bus for me going back to school. Lastly, I reached at school and go training for a while. Lastly again, my bro pick me up. Haaa neway, here's the pic that smith captured on us :p

Its me,Adrilyn :p don't really know how to play guitar neway, ha. its just a pose ;) 

from left ; Adrilyn,Roseanne,Marjorie & Marleyani <3

from left ; Marjorie,Adrilyn,Jennifer,Maryanne.

we're best friend although we've been fight a lot, ignore each other sometimes, forget each other but still, we are best friend. good memory of 2Kerjasama,bebeh ;) 

Tell me why.

Its really hurt when you know you cant hold on but you too in love to let go. I miss you, J. I love you to the max. Sometimes, i just feel so stupid for asking you to be mine back but its hurt so well but after a second, i am so much happy than you thought. i think i cant let you go. i am sorry for treating you like shit last year. its just.. you never wanna talk to me anymore after two or three weeks when we're in a relationship last year. Now i know, why you chasing me but your feelings changes. Now i know, why i am chasing you because i just know that you can really take my heart in good way. But i was wrong, totally wrong. Seems like you fall in love to other girl and the way i am falling for you, the more i get desperate. Okay, i admit it. Although i really like other boys but darling,please. I love you, please don't leave me. It will make me dying inside. But i wont force you to stay, you may go as you please when your feelings change and your heart for someone else. And i'll find someone like you. Just remember that, i'm starting to love you more and more and more but you hurt me. Just like last year, you keep starting to love me more and more and more but i hurt you. See? We're both stupid in love. 


Sometimes i just wondering , why would i ever want you back in my life when i promise myself not to be anyone except for the boy that i love for 8 years on the 1st January? I just don't get it. Hmm. 

Stay back to Lok Yuk and All Saint,babe.

Staying back today with Jorie, Mary and Elssa at All Saint before i go to training. Jorie and I go to Lok Yuk to met Jess. HAHAHAHA. Damn, she's sooo funny. She seems crazy more than i thought ;) When we met Jess at Lok Yuk. Haha whoa, she is totally CRAZY ;D I miss her. Eww. HAHA! For real ;) And then we go to All Saint. All the way long to All Sain, Jess and I are crazy beside the road. HAHA! Mak Cik Sampah ahh,Jess? Gilaaaa. Anyway, its sweet. Ada bah ni budak saya cakap ' Ee cute oh kauuu ' terus tu budak ' Ceh ' HAHA! Punyalahhhh :p And paling lahh. When we arrived at All Saint, we supposed to met Enath but lastly we didn't found her :( And yet, time di kedai makan ada c Elssa and Mary,so we join them. And then, saya makan lah Mary punya maggie sikit so do i even drink her minuman ni. HAHA! Its funn. And Jess ? Ada juga kawan dia situuu ahh. Haha. I meet Aless too. My cousin :p doii. Makin bebeh bah diaaa! And lastly, we wanna go to Cyber bahh ni. And then we go lahh, tapi tutup. HAHA! Before that, Jess bilang mau guna lif. So Jorie and I are okay with that. Hell yawwww, its cool. And we go there, tapi tutup. But satu cafe kami tidak check then we go down. Gila. Time d lif ada orang terus c Jess bha. ' Na ngam la tu kau tekan,kak. Ground floor kan? Dorang ni bodoh bah ni ' hahahahaha! Gila. dia cakap gitu ma c Jorie and sayaaa ahh. Kureeeng. haha then c Jess gilaaa ! Main CCTV diaaa ah. Brabis saya ketawa-.- men paluuui. haha. last last saya sama c Jess p check cyber yang satuuu wow, ramai handsome boyy kunu. HAHA! C jess nampak kotak rokok then dia bilang ma saya ' uii tu na rokokk ! ' babun kauuu,Jess! HAHA! And yet, bikin malu tu cyber tidak buka :p kin kuyaaak saja. HAHA then we go back tempat dorang c Mary. Time duduk duduk d meja makan sambil minum c Jess lambai lambai tu lelaki d atas. HAHA! Terus tu lelaki tidak tengok tempat kami ! ;) At last , we go buy waffle. Gilaaa c Jess. Sempat lagi dia membuli tu pekerja dia. Hahaha! Lawalahh. Then saya minta kawan c Jess beli reload. Ada c Nasir ! Terus saya teriak lahh, c Jess berlari terus p tempat dorang c Jorie :p HAHAHA! Dia takut kena lapor ;p ciannn kau , Jess. Last last, saya ma Jorie hantar c Jess. naaa paling manang ahhh time tu. Eh wait, kawan c Jess c , Fikri, soooo cute :) Haha , then paling gilaaa time on the way p Lok Yuk. C jess teriak teriak minta tolong kena rogol kunun! HAHAHA! Paling gilaaa lah. terus saya pun teriak lahh macam tu then da ni orang dia punn teriak sambil kasih naik naik baju dia D; naaaaa gilaa! HAHA then c Jess balik Lok Yuk sudah. Saya sama c Jorie , balik p school. Malas lahh gi training! Penattt gilaaa :p terus saya sama c Jorie sana dalam school, kami tengok c Ednell. HAHA! Cute lah. And then c Bradley. awwwwwww, saya hye ma dia. dia hyee sya balik punyaaa cuteee caraaa diaaaa, terpikaaat !  HAHA ! memang hot lahhh diaaa ;) Apa lagi kawan cousin sayaaa yang berdiri diri sanaaa dekat meja tengok orang main bola. He looks like Pikachu. SO CUTE tapi tidak dapat kalahkan c mana bulihh tau. And ada ni orang ! Bikin panass oh! ui, fikir saya sudah maafkan kau? Nda lar kali, kalau eyar pun fikir saya mau tingu muka kau? Eww no way ! Sorrylahhh ! Kita nda berngam bahh ni ! Muka kau bah boy, please lah jangan buat muka cute, tidak sudah saya terpikat tu,budu! Ishh, Lastly, saya sama Jorie p sana Jambatan bergambar and Jennifer pun adaaa! So here's the picc. haha! 

 C jess punya muka palui time d all saint punya kedai makan ! 

 Jennifer and I ;) I love herrr! HAHA

Marjorie and Jennifer :) 


Lastly, today was greaaat tapi ada c gemuk bikin spoil !! rosak mood its okay at least Bradley hye balik dengan saya dengan cara yang hot :p

I didn't go to school today.

I didn't go to school. Well, my left hand was on pain after the injection. And this afternoon i was chatting with J.L.S oh man. I miss him freakin muchy. I even tell him that i wrote his name on my table that was on my class. And yet, every time when Marjorie said about that boy that who same school with J makes me missing much more on J. I cant believe this. And every time when Heart Vacancy by The Wanted songs came up, the first on my mind was J. I don't know. But since like i want him back. How about my crush that i've been love for 8 years? Yeah, how about that. I don't know. Give up? At least i try so much on primary school. But yet, i kinda like him much more than J. But when the teacher was teaching in front and i look on my table that has J name on it. I kinda miss him much more and falling for him much more. 


But i promise myself no love for this year :( Its hard to me to move on without someone I like was not even mine but why am i so afraid to lose you when you're not even mine? I love you.

School reopen today! Awesome day.

When I arrived at school, I check my name on the announcement board, I check out the 2Kerjasama class list. I saw my name and the first number was my name :p HAHAHA dayemmm, I was like praise the lord. But one thing that i hate, i saw this fat guy again. Oh shit. I dislike saw him. WHYY? He's freakin fatty. Spoil my mood,man. Anyway,when I was on my way to my new class, I saw Marjorie. We were happy and we jumped around. Haha. Its soooo like our dream come true :p We're totally happy. All boys and girls in our class are the same. Jyeahhh. The perfect name list? xD Here it goooes ;)

The Rockers & The Best

Girls ;

- Marjorie Ann

- Roseanne Liew

- Marleyani David

- Chong Ka Ling

- Maryanne Juanis

- Elssa Krysta

- Jennifer Peter

Boys ;

- Smith S

- Kenneth Viorel

- Benny Bowen

- Rex Travilor

The girls are the best , greatest. Well always makes mistake but forgive each otherr. The boys are cool and cute. HAHA. Benny,Kenneth and Rex. they play guitar and Smith play the keyboard ;) the band was Divinity 5. ohh, almost forgot :p Jordan Deanne was one of the band mates too. Full lucks for them ;) Well, I'm happy today. Laugh out loud with friends. Happy go lucky with friends. And what the? Maths getting hard. OH NO. And when the teacher said if PMR one subject failed means all failed. Gonna study hard then :p Well, good night for now! Time to sleep.

School reopen tomorrow,babe

today is the last holiday.aww,school reopen tomorrow,babe.well, at least i got play this gamee with Jus. its the came who will fall in love first.isnt cool? The game was about, lets sweet talk, lets play fight, lets talk 24/7,lets tell each other good morning and good night everyday,lets take walks together,lets give each other nicknames,lets hang out with each other's friends,lets go on dates, lets talk on the phone all night long, lets hold each other and lets kiss and hug. and whoever fall in love first? loses. but unfortunately several hours ago, he call me and he said that he give up because..cause he said that he was like cheating his girlfriend, i mean ex. looks like he still have feeling on his ex. WHY? oh my gawd, i should just relax. I tell myself no more love this year, well except for the guy that i have been love for 8 years, maybe he will be one or not. what ever,just maybe. I hope this year would be a good year to me. well, ugh. I wanna be good, nice, that everyone would like. Oh yea, school reopen tomorrow. Aww, gonna see my crush that i have been love for 8 years again. he is so adorable and he's cuuuteeee. kbyeee,night world <3 bahahahaha.

I know what I'm trying to do.

So this is it. My brother wake me up to take a bath. We're going to breakfast at Kepayan. When we arrived at there. We take our order. And a few minutes, one of my brother said to me like ' When you're gonna learn to be independent? Soon, you're going to University and you're gonna live your own. '  And I was like ' Can't you give me time? I'm trying to change here ! I'm trying to be best for all of you ! ' Its kinda makes me a little bit pissed when you tell me you're going to grab my phone when school is reopen in the car just now. Its okay, you can. But just zip your mouth! I know what i'm trying to do after this ! Last year, you said that you're not going to say the same things about last year. 


Story of my life 2012 year? Its gonna be a nightmare + sad + happy + depressed + desperate + insane = MY LIFE NOT YOURS.

Happy New Year? Its a Happy plus Sad New Year to me.

Well hyeee, there. Celebrate 2012 New Year at Kampung last night. Hmm, its fun. Fulls of fun. But there's one that doesn't make me happy. How to say then? Story goes like this. At 11 p.m something like that. My crush call me to ask where we gonna meet later at 12 am. yeah. we're gonna meet, at bridge, gonna enjoy the fireworks. But things doesn't even go right what i been expected. But its alright. Its not a big deal. I broke up with my boyfriend just because of him. Wait, yeah. My crush? I don't know. But the reason i break up with my boyfriend just because of him was the one of the reason. Well, i did call him. 
*he picked up*
me ; ui budu.
him ; apa?
me ; saya suka kau bah.
*he hanged up*

Isn't this mean like he doesn't like me? Or he just went shocked and just press hang up? Its alright, its okay.4th time of love rejections. Hurts like hell. Its alright, its okay. This year, i hope i can move on without boyfriends. HAHAHA, yeah its just fake laugh. This time, I'll be good. Very good. Well, the BEST for my family and everyone. I hope i can study well. Noooo, I'm not just saying. I'll do it. I'll change. I'll be good. I'll be the best on ONE DAY. Even this 1st January of New Year 2012 hurts me just because the boy i like doesn't mean i'm gonna cry. Cos i know, he wont accept me. Anyway, why did i even type all this? Very long story isn't? heh. Enjoy your new year? Well, have a blessed one and enjoy your new year.